THOUGHTFULLY DRIVING THE PORCELAIN BUS

A Column by John S Schroeder

February 23, 2002

Well, today we have a bit of a hodgepodge of subjects....

Do you hear the word "service" around church much anymore? I don't. I hear about "my ministry" a lot, but I don't hear about service. As our society has grown ever more narcissistic, so has church. During my lifetime people's reasons for doing things have changed dramatically. It seems we no longer do them because it is the right thing to do, or because it is obedient, or because the kids at church really need it. Instead we do it because it "fulfills" us. "I do this ministry because it allows me to express my gifts." Think about that for a minute -- God gives us gifts for the greater good of the Kingdom, not so we can "feel good about ourselves" in expressing them.

This trend becomes truly awful when money gets involved. I think this kind of thinking lies at the root of all the troubles the Red Cross had with the 9/11 money. Since it was "their ministry" they viewed it that people were giving money to support them, but in reality people were giving money to support what the Red Cross was doing, or at least what the donors thought they were doing. I have seen this same thing happen over and over in churches. It expresses itself in many ways. In some churches, particularly Pentecostal ones, Pastors view the whole church as an extension of their ministry, and all the members as multipliers of "their" ministry. The tradition in mainline denominations is that Pastors come to SERVE the congregation. However, as Pentecostal churches seem to be the ones growing these days, many mainline congregations and pastors are drifting in that direction.

I would have to write a book to unpack this theologically. Suffice it to say that as I understand my Christian faith, it is a process of losing myself in the Lord, the object is to lose focus of self, not sharpen it. In Christian thinking, self-fulfillment comes not in focusing on the self, but in sacrificing the self.

This is probably implicit in much of what I written already, but I think it is time to say it explicitly. The world loves to cite all the evil the church has done as an argument against the church. They talk about the Crusades; they talk about the Lutherans in Germany in the 30's and 40's; the list goes on. What most people outside the church don't know is how bad the church often treats its own. I have experienced this personally, and my wife, well suffice it to say that it is a miracle her faith remains at all. You see, I am forced, based on personal experience and historical understanding, to agree with those worldly critics. The church does as much or more evil as it does good.

That fact leaves me only two possible conclusions when it comes to Christian faith in general. Possible Conclusion One: Christianity really is some sort of man-made artifice designed to play a role in ordering society, but without any reality in a spiritual sense. Possible Conclusion Two: Christian faith is something very separate from Christian religion -- They may intersect occasionally, but there are no guarantees. Well dear reader, some years ago, after a particularly brutal beating at the hands of the "faithful" I tried Possible Conclusion One on for size and found it did not fit. Despite my best intentions, I found myself in prayer, seeking the fellowship of other believers, and while I managed not to read scripture for a while, I had enough memorized that it just kept popping into my head. Some have tried to tell me that this was just an expression of habit, or maybe discipline. Such people do not truly understand how badly I had been mistreated, and how pissed I was. I think this fact was a direct intervention of the Holy Spirit. The real point is Possible Conclusion Two is all I've got.

So you may ask, "Why bother with church at all then?" Well, there are several reasons. One reason is that scripture clearly tells us to seek the fellowship of others in the faith, and despite its problems, church is the only place I really know to find those people. Another reason is that it is only in the context of church that the ritualistic aspect of my faith can be played out, and clearly there is a call for some rituals in scripture. Finally, if there are not other people around to help advise and shape me, it is possible for my personal faith to go as awry as the churches so often does.

So part of being stuck with Possible Conclusion Two is that I have to find a way to live in the institutions of religion, when I think they are generally corrupt. This is the great tension of my life.

When I talk to people about the stuff I just wrote about, they generally respond that the church is composed of sinners and it is only "natural" that there would be mistakes made. Well I certainly cannot argue that I am not a sinner -- I am, and I make a lot of mistakes. The cliché is true; "Christians are not perfect only forgiven."

But more and more in modern times, the church is forgetting one of the key elements of the theology of forgiveness -- REPENTANCE. Part and parcel of being forgiven is our recognition and renouncement of what we did that requires us to be forgiven in the first place. The problem isn't the mistakes we make; it is what we do after we make them.

I want to use another word here because I think "repentance" has been compromised over the years to mean little more than saying "I'm sorry." The word I want to use is "brokeness." Here is the real question -- Are we broken by our sins? Do we really recognize what our sins say about us? You see we don't just make mistakes we need to apologize for -- we are corrupt, evil, vile mutations of what God created us to be. God's forgiveness of us calls for nothing less than the complete denunciation of ourselves. These are not things one hears in our self-image focused, self-gratifying society.

I personally think the church is afraid of the gospel spoken this plainly, directly and radically. People in American society today do not come with a set of values that even allows for a "good" bigger than themselves, let alone a willingness to deny oneself. If the church preaches this radical message to a society with little or no inclination to accepting it, how can they keep the pews full, the mortgage paid and the pastors compensated? I think the church wants churchgoers (the religious), but they do not necessarily want disciples (the faithful). You see disciples understand this radical view, want to practice it, and think it is what the church should be about.

This is such an intractable problem, that I am willing to consider the possibility that with the way things are in America right now, it may be one of those places where disciples are supposed to shake the dirt from our sandals and move on. Maybe the Holy Spirit has some work to do here and we just have to wait until He is finished. Thus churches may just have to go ahead and shrink, and die. Or more likely they will turn into something even less recognizably associated with real faith in Christ than they are now.

One last thing -- Have you ever seen a church broken? I mean really broken. I am not even sure how it would look. Take the current example back east where all the pedophilia has been uncovered among Catholic priests. The argument is on how to "deal with the problem and save the church" when what should be happening is that everyone involved should be prostrate on their face, crying of their unworthiness in the eyes of the Lord! The very essence of Christian forgiveness is to bring sin to light and let God destroy it. But generally churches may deal with the individuals involved, but try and keep the problem hidden because of the damage it might do to the institution. But the institution shares in the sin and should react like the sinner.

I applaud the Cardinal in Boston. Revealing the cases of pedophilia is the correct step. Should he resign? Not now. If he had been caught hiding it, then yes he should be disposed of, but he has done exactly the right thing. Let's just hope Rome shares his repentant attitude. I pray only that there were more church leaders of all denominations and stripes that were willing to confess and repent of the evil that their institutions have done.