December 28, 2002

Our year ends and I have some scattered thoughts….

…For years I have decried medical schools as 40% education and 60% hazing. And yet, of all the car-giving professions M.D. is the only one that does not attract those that need the care more than those that are capable of giving it.

Consider psychological counseling, most everyone agrees that "good" counselors are about 1 in 10 at best. I have many friends that have chosen this profession in one form or another and the vast majority of them have sought it out looking for "answers" for themselves. I think that goes a long way to explaining the ratio of "good" to "bad" counselors.

It may be too much to ask of any person, but I can think of no worse motivation to get into a caregiving career than to get something for oneself. At worst, those that you are charged with caring for become some sort of victim to your need, like a vampire sucking blood. At best the person being cared for becomes so objectified that all humanity is sucked from the process.

As the church has aligned itself more and more with pop psychological trends, I have seen similar things arise in those that seek out professional ministry. I will confess to such motivations when I joined Young Life staff. God interceded in my life, painful though it was, and showed me the folly that I pursued. I sure wish He would do the same for a whole handful of pastors I could name….

…I am currently reading the third volume of an eventual four-volume biography of Lyndon Baines Johnson. I became fascinated with LBJ as a child because I lived in Texas when he inherited the Presidency, so I had a lot of Texas pride. As an adult I have come to loath most of what he accomplished in office, but it is not about policy, or Texas, that I wish to write here.

One of the comments most made about LBJ is that he was a master of making everyone, on all sides of any issue, think he agreed with them. I could see how this would be a useful tool for a politician, but what has amazed and galled me is that so many around LBJ have spoken so admiringly of this particular gift. This "talent" of Johnson’s is referred to as "strength of character," "inner resolve," and "confidence."

I cannot admire this ability; it is a form of lying, pure and simple. Despite the nitty-gritty word definitions of Bill Clinton and his ilk, misleading and lying are the same thing. Any man who will make me think he agrees with me and then prove the contrary has lied to me and cannot be trusted.

I have noted that many pastors consider this same ability worthwhile as well. They feel it necessary to hold together the disparate views of their congregations. Time and again I have had pastors say to me, "I would not say this publicly, but…." There you have it, someone whose profession is as ambassador for Christ is willing to mislead, and therefore lie, for the perceived sake of holding together an institution. Thus the institution is more important than purpose for which it was founded….

…I have decided that lying is the worst of all sins. It is the most common, it is the least punished, and it lies at the heart of nearly every other conceivable sin, save perhaps theft and murder. Even if lying is not integrally a part of other sin, it is what complicates it. Forgiveness is easy when there is contrition and ownership of one’s mistakes. But deceit, misdirection, and denial take even the smallest of sins and expands it into a life consuming issue.

It has been said that not all lies are bad. The example often given is the answer to the question, "Honey, do I look good in this?" The argument goes that you hurt the questioner with a direct and truthful answer, while a little tiny lie preserves the peace. I have to believe there is a way to answer truthfully without causing such hurt. I believe that because the slippery slope from there has lead to so much true evil.

If there is a center to everything I have written in this blog it is that I have been lied to, particularly by the church, over and over again. I hate lying. I hate being lied to, and I am pretty bad at doing it. But most of all I hate lies that claim to be for the good of the Lord. God cannot be served by lying….

…We do ourselves no good by trying to be something we are not. In once sense it’s a lie, but let’s set that aside for now. I could probably make a lot more money working my way up through management in a large corporation. There is no question I have the technical and communication abilities, but I sure do lack the temperament. There are times, even now, when I ache for the security such a career could have offered, but then I think about how miserable I was when I tired it. The politics, the bureaucracy, it drove me mad. I am far happier, even if less "successful." That’s a good thing.

The mainline denominations should stop trying to be what they are not. They will be happier, even if less successful.